The Art of Breathing: How to Regulate Stress and Emotions
Why Breath Matters
Breath lies at the very center of our being, quite literally bringing us back to life. It is also the key to being present in the moment, as breath cannot exist in the past or future—it only resides in the here and now. Deepening my yoga practice and working as a therapist have helped me feel more connected and attuned to my breath than ever before. Over time, I’ve learned to discern the nuances of my breathing—whether it’s shallow, fast, and forced or deep, slow, and balanced.
This awareness extends to my body as well. For instance, I notice when my shoulders are tense or my jaw is clenched—clear signals that I may be overthinking or stressed. For others, stress might manifest differently, such as chest tightness, an increased heart rate, or sweaty palms. Regardless of how it shows up, our breath is a powerful guide, offering signs about our emotional state and an opportunity to create harmony.
Breath as a Tool for Regulation
When dealing with stress, anxiety, anger, or hyperarousal from trauma, the breath becomes a powerful tool for regulating the fight, flight, or freeze responses of our nervous system. Breathing harmonizes the brain and body, fostering an inner sense of safety, clarity, and calm. With this foundation, we can think more constructively and respond thoughtfully to triggering experiences. Moreover, mindful breathing opens the space to explore new perspectives and possibilities we may not have considered before.
The Science Behind Stress and Breath
In The Body Keeps the Score, the author Bessel van der Kolk (2014) explains that as long as our brain remains in survival mode (fight, flight, or freeze), our ability to plan, learn, and attend to our own and others’ needs is impaired.
To help clients visualize how the brain and body respond to stress and anger, I often use the hand-brain model, developed by Dr. Dan Siegel (2010). This model illustrates how the prefrontal cortex—responsible for executive functions like decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation—“flips” offline under stress, anxiety, and anger. It disconnects from the brainstem, activating the fight, flight, or freeze response, and leaves the limbic system (the emotional center) in charge. When this happens, we lose control over our emotions and can become destabilized and overwhelmed by them.
Understanding this dynamic empowers us to notice how breathing exercises and mindfulness practices help restore balance and clarity in our mind. These techniques re-engage the prefrontal cortex, enhance executive functioning, and calm the nervous system.
Cultivating Self-Awareness Through Breath
Before engaging in breathing practices, it’s essential to tune in to your inner experience through techniques like body scanning—a mindfulness practice. Self-awareness is key to taking control of your body, mind, and emotions. It allows you to notice shifts in your breathing, thinking, and bodily sensations.
The first step is understanding where your body is in the present moment. Next, identify and validate your feelings—whether it’s stress, anxiety, or anger. Naming these emotions increases awareness of the sensations they create in your body and helps you validate your experience without guilt, shame, or judgment.
Practical Application in Therapy
Mindfulness is critical for calming the nervous system, making you less reactive and destabilized by the fight, flight, or freeze response. It also strengthens your connection to your breath, enhancing the effectiveness of breathing exercises. As a therapist specializing in trauma-informed care, I integrate mindfulness and breathwork into my practice. At the beginning or end of sessions, I often model one of my top five breathing techniques to help clients become grounded and release emotions and sensations tied to our conversations. This also helps prepare their minds to transition smoothly to the next part of their day.
Below are my top five breathing techniques, which I incorporate into my sessions. Let’s break them down by their intention, steps, and benefits to emotional regulation.
1. Diaphramic Breathing (Belly Breathing)
Intention: To activate the diaphragm and promote deep relaxation
Steps:
1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
3. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to rise while keeping your chest still and shoulders lowered. (If they rise you’re inhaling too fast)
4. Exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your belly deflate like a balloon running out of air.
5. Repeat for 10 to 12 full breaths.
Benefits:
• Reduces stress and anxiety.
• Lowers heart rate and blood pressure.
• Improves oxygen exchange.
Tips:
• Practice first thing in the morning, during transitions in your day, and before bed for a calming effect.
• Use this technique during stressful moments to ground yourself.
2. Box Breathing
Intention: To reduce stress and focus the mind
Steps:
1. Sit upright and relax your shoulders.
2. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
3. Hold your breath for a count of 4.
4. Exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.
5. Hold your breath again for a count of 4.
6. Repeat the cycle 4-6 times.
Benefits:
• Calms the nervous system.
• Increases focus and concentration.
• Helps manage stress and overwhelm.
Tips:
• Visualize a square while you breathe, tracing its edges in your mind.
• Adjust the count to 3 or 5 seconds if needed, depending on your comfort level.
3. Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
Intention: To balance energy and calm the mind
Steps:
- Sit comfortably and make a hang loose sign with your hand.
- Use your thumb to close your right nostril.
- Inhale deeply through your left nostril.
- Close your left nostril with your pinky finger, release the right nostril, and exhale through the right.
- Inhale through the right nostril, then close it and exhale through the left.
- Continue alternating for 5-10 rounds.
Benefits:
• Balances the left and right hemispheres of the brain.
• Improves mental clarity and focus.
• Relieves stress and calms the mind.
Tips:
• Start slow and steady to prevent lightheadedness.
• Use this technique before meditation or sleep for a grounding effect.
4. Ocean Breathing (Ujjayi Breath)
Intention: To promote calm and focus (commonly used in yoga).
Steps:
- Maintain a closed mouth.
- Inhale deeply through your nose, slightly constricting your throat to create a whispering sound.
- Exhale slowly through your nose while maintaining the same throat constriction, creating an “ocean wave” sound.
- Keep the breath smooth and rhythmic.
- Practice for 5-10 minutes.
Benefits:
• Soothes the nervous system.
• Improves focus and concentration.
• Enhances the flow of breath during yoga or meditation.
Tips:
• If you’re unsure about the throat constriction and creating the “ocean wave” sound, practice by exhaling through your mouth while whispering “ah,” then switch to nasal breathing. Once you are comfortable with the sound and sensation, begin to breathe in the same manner with a closed mouth.
• Use this breath during yoga poses to enhance your practice or during relaxation for a meditative effect.
5. Five-Finger Breathing
Intention: To ground yourself and reduce anxiety
Steps:
1. Spread out one hand like a star.
2. Use the index finger of your other hand to trace along your fingers starting by tracing the bottom of your thumb.
3. Inhale as you trace up, and exhale as you trace down the other side.
4. Continue tracing all five fingers, focusing on your breath and the sensation.
Benefits:
• Grounds you in the present moment.
• Reduces anxiety by engaging your sense of touch.
• Encourages deep, steady breathing.
Tips:
• Use this in moments of stress or before a large social event.
• Pair this technique with positive affirmations or calming thoughts.
Let me know in the comments which technique you’re excited to try first! I’d love to hear how it went for you—feel free to come back and share your experience!
References
Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. Bantam Books.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.